Okay, so. This week has been a little boring. I haven't had anything interesting to post on here so I doubt I will be posting often because no one really reads these and I don't have much to write about.
Anyway, I have decided that I do not have a crush. I think. It's really complicated. Basically I have this friend Owen (yes, it is a weird spelling) and he's really sweet. I don't like like him but I want to be closer friends. We have really good little moments together and I just want to hang out with him more often. But the modern day society doesn't accept boy girl friendships. For some stupid reason!
Okay, so far the only thing eventful that has happened this week is my lack of sleep. I just can't and when I do sleep I have vivid night mares. They can be so bad that I sit up to get out of them. I have also experienced sleep paralysis. The state between being asleep and being awake when the brain has woken up the mind but not the full body. So, when I wake up I have an absolutely terrifying experience where I cannot move anything but my eyes for approximately 15 seconds. I can't even scream for help.
This is an awful experience I have had that I don't feel like I can tell my mum. It's as if she doesn't care about little things that can happen to people. She would just assume that I was attention seeking. I hate the way she makes me feel sometimes. It's as if she is frowning upon me because I'm not living up to her expectations. But I hate her expectations, she's the kind of person who objects stupid things like selfies. Even if I got a boyfriend she would just think it was stupid and childish.
Everyone seems to think I am childish, the way they treat me. My step sister is always acting all mature when actually she's an attention seeking slut. Maybe even the wort role model ever.
Ugh, sorry for taking my anger out on you guys but I just can't take it anymore. I'm not usually the type of person to talk out my feelings with others or open up. I don't make things up for attention. I don't just have a blog to be self indulgent. This is for me to get my feelings out. I couldn't give a crap about the page views, although it would be a little bit cool to see how far it goes. But anyway, this blog is for me to get my feelings out and say the things I wouldn't ever say to people. The things that I should be comfortable saying to people. Like the fact that have trust issues. Issues that have manifested so that I can't even tell my friends if I have a crush. Which I don't! I don't think.
Anyway, Thank you for letting me waist my time. feel free to comment! (I know you won't)
Read my other blogs if you haven't already and I hope you enjoy getting to know about me. And btw if my life is too boring please tell me and I will try to spice it up a bit but like I said this is mostly about me unwinding and saying what I want to say.
From Paige Riley :)
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