Okay here goes..... I'm not the kind of person to open up really easily so I don't expect anyone to WANT to read this but it's something I would maybe find helpful and I like to get things off of my chest. I may be a bit stupid for deciding the thing I want to share is about something silly but in all honesty its the silly things that no one expects me to be worried over.

To my friends I seem like I am tough and strong. But the reality of it is that I am every bit as weak as a thin slice of cheese. Yes, I made that reference. With all the stuff going on in my life no one expects me to get worried over my appearance or fitness or any of the things I actually worry about the most.

I feel like I am slowly deteriorating and I HATE that feeling. My fitness has dropped and a heart problem I had as a child may have come back. I feel stupid for thinking it but what if it is fatal? these aren't the sort of things I can discuss with my mum. We don't have a very open relationship, I don't even tell her when I'm on my period unless I need her to buy me stuff. But enough about depressed fatalities of my boring life. If you got this far, congratulations have a medal.

Soooo, on a slightly happier note I have a little secret...... I think..... (just to explain I am the most socially awkward psychotic -not very pretty- unfavorable grumpy teenage girl who is stuck in the life of her fandoms) basically I have no experience, and haven't had a boy friend yet. But, I'm working on it. There's this boy I like, he is really sweet and we could sit and talk for hours. Good things about the possible "us" I have noticed so far are that:

1. He approaches me to talk to - he thinks I am worthy of talking too?!?!

2. He notices the small things about me -my handwriting, my "enthusiasm" and more

3. He laughs at my jokes

4. He smiles at my imperfections- If I hiccup or yawn because I hiccup and yawn all weird and high pitch

But it is hard to decide weather or not I would consider us to be "us" anytime soon, or even at all.
Well, if anyone actually reads this then I might continue writing, and if it is boring then I will shorten it maybe to just the fun highlights and NOT about the thin slices of cheese.

So thank you for tolerating me - Paige Riley.